Why is my question not being answered?

At the we maintain an active presence on the Internet dating back, in various guises, to 1994 when we put up our first home pages (although in those halcyon days most activity was on the now defunct Usenet – a once superb swathe of the Internet that has since been destroyed, among other things, by google). In our two decades online we often find people abusively spamming us because we will not answer their questions. In order to help them, we maintain this page.

Most of the questions we receive we will answer as promptly as we can. We run this website at our own expense primarily for that purpose – the sharing of information. We priortise questions that are made with incisive wit and humour, those that provide or seek primary-source info, and even those that are simply curious. We de-prioritise only those that are ‘spammy’. Here then, are some of the reasons why we may not be answering you:

Your question is unintelligible
If we cannot understand what you are trying to ask us, we cannot answer. Rephrase your question and try again.

It is a leading question
Examples of leading questions include, “When did you stop beating your wife“, and “Why do you think Vladimir Putin shoots down passenger ‘planes“. We do not answer these because they contain an unfounded suggestion that the questioner is trying to put across.

We are asking the questions
Often somebody will ignore a direct question that is put to them, only to reply with an off-topic question of their own. Really, if you expect your questions to get answered you have to do likewise. Basic rule of politeness guys.

Your question has already been answered
As a matter of policy the will only answer once. If you do not like the answer you received feel free to rebut. Simply repeating your question over and over again in the hope of getting a different answer only wastes your time, not ours.

You are childishly abusive
After twenty years online we are no strangers to abuse. Feel free to say to us what you like, but don’t expect an answer if you can’t speak intelligently. Wit and humour are appreciated, barnyard braying is not.

You’re asking (or looking) in the wrong place
The best place to ask questions of the is at You are free to use the comments section to ask us anything you like, but the same rules as above apply. It is our policy to answer spam at our own discretion and in the time, manner, and place of our own chosing. We appreciate that this may not be what you were expecting.

Your question is unimportant to us
Sorry to have to break it to you, but unless you have a court order in your hand nobody is under any obligation to answer your questions. If you are demanding an answer and find you are being ignored, maybe you’ve bought that upon yourself.

You are including falsehoods/sales-pitches in your question
Similar to the leading question, when we are required to accept mendacity in order to respond, we decline. Examples: “CNN have revealed…“, “The BBC has learned…“, or, “The bible teaches us that…“. If you have to include such phrases in your questions we respectfully suggest you seek out more reliable sources of information than the mainstream-media, politicians, salesmen, or preachers. These people are lying to us. It’s their job.

Your question is off-topic
The is a satirical site. If you have failed to understand that and/or taken something too literally there wouldn’t be much point in us answering – you would not understand the answer.

You’ve already answered your own question / Rhetoric
Rhetorical questions do not require answers. If you also append the answer you want to receive we will not take it as a hint, for example, “How many neo-nazis have you met? None“,is a question that will not be answered.

Your question is based on hearsay
We don’t care what you heard on television, what you found on google, what you read in The Sun, or what your neighbour’s cousin heard down the pub. Rumours, and for-profit propaganda do not interest us, and shouldn’t interest you either. We will not indulge. Primary source material is your friend, google et al are not.

You have an agenda
If there’s something you want to say, just say it.

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Leading Question
Logical Fallacies
Rules of Debate, Oxford Union style