Monthly Archives: January 2018

The Client’s Bike

There’s a database guy at the client’s site who identifies as a cyclist.

It’s not enough for him to just ride a bike, he has to have all the gear and he arrives sweating at 07:30 every morning looking like he’s just finished the latest stage of the Tour de France. He even wears a yellow jersey.

He prances 100m down the hall to his desk dressed like this every day just to drop off his cycle helmet which, evidently, is the height of cycle-helmet fashion. He then prances 100m back to the showers to get changed.

He does this everyday after he has clocked-in, i.e. on his employer’s time, so he’s no fool. He’s a cyclist.

For whatever reason he was outside at the smoking area with us today, and he wasn’t even talking about cycling. There must be something up, I thought, so I paid attention. It was rivetting. He’d had a difficult time finding a parking space at the supermarket the other day.

That begged the question, so I asked him it:

Me: Why don’t you cycle to the shops?
Cyclist: What do you mean, cycle to the shops?
Me: Do your shopping by bike.
Cyclist: That’s stupid. How would I get the shopping home.
Me: Carry it on your bike.
Cyclist: How can I carry shopping on a bike?
Me: Wear a rucksack? Hang bags from the handlebars?
Cyclist: You wouldn’t be able to ride with bags hanging on the handlebars.
Me: Of course you can. You need to balance the load to keep the bike stable that’s all. I find I can get two bags each side without a problem. There’s more inertia when you’re pulling away, but it keeps you fit.
Cyclist: That’s bullshit. You wouldn’t be able to ride it.
Me: You could put a basket on it.
Cyclist: Who has ever heard of a basket on a cycle?
Me: (blows smoke in his face and goes back to work)