tarkovsky on the set of stalker

Our Online Stalker

That’s right, our contributor The Bastard Jobseeker From Hell is being stalked online – by one of his multitude of outraged former ‘supervisors’.

Mr Hell stopped working with him more than a year ago because he was fed-up with said ‘supervisor’s’ incompetence, dishonesty, racism, and borderline criminal mis-management. In short, because he is a self-obsessed corporate whore who will do anything for money and a job.

Bastard prefers to retain his self-respect and professional integrity, neither of which are up for sale and that is non-negotiable.

Since then the former co-worker has become one of our website’s most frequent visitors, rivalling the googlebot. Our contacts on the inside of his firm have sent us photos showing that he even goes so far as to print out our webpages and pin them up on his office wall.

We’re Flattered, Not

On Tuesdays and Wednesdays this talentless Agile contractor likes to check our websites from his office PC, and on Sunday evenings he browses our sites from his home. We’re not talking about the kind of browsing you and I do, checking out what’s new, looking up favourited reference material, generalised surfing. On the contrary, he examines every detail of our websites over and over to the point of obsession.

Last December, when his client finally got sick and tired of his on-site presence and forced him to work remotely, he spent his last two weeks on his client’s site doing nothing other than browsing the same pages on our website that he already visited hundreds of times.

Our log files light up with his IP addresses regularly as he scours the site looking for who knows what, or perhaps just doing it to remind us of his existance. As if we care about the schmuck.

Every website we produce, no matter what the theme, once he has discovered it he cannot leave it alone. Last week he did a google search for the product he is currently working on, that he considers himself to be the leading authority on, only to discover another of our websites which ranks high on google for searches on that particular product. Typically our sites appear on page one or page two of search, whereas his own is nowhere to be found.

Immediately after discovering that website he abandoned whatever it was he was looking for to spend the next hour downloading and scouring every page on the entire site. We’re flattered, not.

Meanwhile the end-clients and consumers that he is supposed to be servicing prefer to come to us for advice. Possibly because he is too busy surfing the web to deal with the work he is being paid to do. Our advice to his clients is given out for free and is simple to follow: Find another supplier.

Rolling Roadblocks, Batman!

We allowed him to view that site once, then blocked his office IP. That was last Wednesday, and sure enough, at seven PM this Sunday he was back on the site from his home – until we blocked that as well, after which he switched from his favourite Windows mobile to his Andriod phone to continue his obsessive browsing.

Usually it's employers that get stalked by disgruntled former employees. We get stalked by disgruntled former employers.

None of this is surprising to us, since his own website is a poorly thrown-together packet of shite and he isn’t even capable of setting-up his own mailserver. Something that even Hillary Clinton could accomplish. This is in spite of him having generous budget and a team of developers under his dubious and authoritarian control. Nevertheless, he is still out-classed by someone working alone out of his own basement with no budget and nothing but scrap hardware.

Having worked for more than a year on a project he was also involved in we are well aware of his complete lack of Internet skills, which are even worse than his coding skills. When it comes to his social skills, forget it. He has to stay away from his former colleagues as their natural reaction on seeing him is to want to punch him in the face – and that’s just the women who know him and have had to endure his weak-kneed attempts to force himself upon them in the workplace.

Webmaster’s Message

So this page is for you, stalker. You’re as pathetic as you are predictable. You have forgotten that when it comes to online stalking I wrote that book almost twenty years ago. I shall continue with my rolling firewall blocks that force you to switch between devices and ISPs because this is easy for me to automate and wastes a lot of your – and thus your foolish client’s – time and money.

I’ve also logged your continued abuse of our servers and your misuse of your client’s IT systems going back over the last two years. The moment you step out of line on my network your local authorities and your client will be informed, if not sued.

In the meantime we are not going to name you because, unlike yourself, we at the skankworks.net respect the privacy rights of individuals, even odious inadequate individuals such as you.

But we are calling in The Police.

Have a nice day.

Blast From The Past

husband of private mailsever admin while he was at oxfordThis reminds one of an incident that occured when I ran a personal server in Oxford University from my room in College, using the appropriate userid riffraff. Somebody tried a far more sophisticated hack based on a known IMAP vulnerablitity.

As yesterday I caught the attack while it was in progress, blocked it, and did a reverse look-up on the originating address only to be appalled to discover that the attack came from a host in the Bodleian Library. I sent details of it to the college network administrator, a brilliant mathematician who, alas, knew little of my own field in IT and I heard nothing back.

Until a week later. OXCERT emailed the college network admin, CC’ing me and including a mail trail. The admin had forwarded my mail to OXCERT adding, “I wish he would just unplug the damn thing” referring to my server.

Blaming the victim in the traditional toffee-nosed oxbridge manner.

OXCERT’s response was:

Dear Admin,

We were probing all 20,000 hosts in ox.ac.uk domain due to the mass hack of student PCs in Keble Bollege last month. Your user, riffraff, was the only person in the University that detected and reported our activity and he also did so in real-time identifying the exact desk our staff member was working from. 

We will not be blocking access to riffraff's server. 


31st August 2016


Always a Wednesday. He’s back, using a web-proxy in Japan and failing miserably to hide his ass. Indicative of skills lacking – he’s a slacker, no less. Didn’t even bother to test his ‘solution’.

He used the proxy at 08:29 our time and within a few minutes we’d identified, blocked, and alerted our community not to use this insecure proxy as it leaks source IP.

We’re not even going to give the stalker a hint as to how we know his chosen proxy leaks, let alone how we discover these things so quickly. That’s his problem, not ours. Our secret. He should’ve paid attention, and we know he read it, to what was said above about our operational security viz-a-viz rolling blockades and hints of honey-potting.

Meanwhile, some more music:


Thumbnail picture of a well-known private email-server operator’s husband wearing Sub Fusc from unknown public source.