the special aka

Some Random Web Analytics

He has DHCP on his mobile phone, 9 IP addresses in Switzerland and 3 in Germany since the middle of August, when he installed his last software update, and he likes to read our pages from his office PC as well. Just as he read them from his previous office all the way back through 2014.

He visits the site from Switzerland during the week, and from Germany at weekends, but we’re not going to breach his privacy because we respect that, if nothing else. This page is just an analysis of some ‘random’ user’s UX to demonstrate the capabilites of our self-developed analytics software.

We’re Not Tracking

Unlike google analytics or alexa we do not need any Javascript, nor do we use cookies, logins, or any other tracking system. Nothing outside of our own network, in fact, just analysis of the standard Apache logs, no more no less. We feel that for forensic use this is good enough to present evidence in court that would persuade a jury, but thus far we just use it to improve the site (and occasionally to block undesirable traffic).

Querying the Database

We can’t show all the details of our DB query for privacy reasons, and because the methods we use to associate long-term visitation patterns to unique users, regardless of their use of DHCP, multiple devices, networks, or web-proxies, is our proprietary secret.

Here’s a cut-down sample of what we do. We’ve only analysed his iPhone and office PC and have left out his iPad and Windows Phone to keep the article short.

select ho.fqdn, timestr, u.url from hits h
join hosts as ho on ho.host_id = h.host
join urlhash as u on u.hash_id = h.hash_id
where ho.fqdn in
(
  select  hos.fqdn from hits h
  join hosts as hos on hos.host_id = h.host
  where [REDACTED] = 87057
)
and u.url like '%/'
order by h.time desc

Mobile Visits

06/Sep/2016:20:12:12,/agile/the-toxic-tester/
06/Sep/2016:20:12:06,/agile/category/roles/spl/page/4/
06/Sep/2016:20:11:49,/agile/bug-qualification/
06/Sep/2016:20:11:41,/agile/category/roles/spl/page/3/
06/Sep/2016:20:11:35,/agile/category/roles/spl/page/2/
06/Sep/2016:20:11:19,/agile/category/roles/spl/
06/Sep/2016:20:10:54,/agile/the-rep-question/
06/Sep/2016:20:10:46,/agile/our-online-stalker/
06/Sep/2016:20:10:36,/agile/

05/Sep/2016:21:12:06,/agile/kneel-before-zod/
05/Sep/2016:21:07:54,/agile/kneel-before-zod/
05/Sep/2016:21:07:50,/agile/more-interview-questions-answered/
05/Sep/2016:21:07:39,/agile/

01/Sep/2016:12:55:16,/agile/the-rep-question/
01/Sep/2016:12:55:09,/agile/our-online-stalker/
01/Sep/2016:12:54:54,/agile/
01/Sep/2016:07:35:11,/agile/

29/Aug/2016:22:24:41,/agile/5-questions-to-ask-an-interviewer/
29/Aug/2016:22:24:37,/agile/bug-qualification/
29/Aug/2016:22:24:07,/agile/

27/Aug/2016:18:40:41,/agile/

24/Aug/2016:16:43:19,/agile/
24/Aug/2016:16:42:59,/agile/

19/Aug/2016:22:48:34,/agile/senior-engineer-interview-skills/
19/Aug/2016:22:38:51,/agile/senior-engineer-interview-skills/
19/Aug/2016:22:38:46,/agile/bjfh-goes-looking-for-work/
19/Aug/2016:22:38:43,/agile/recruitment-agent-meltdown/
19/Aug/2016:22:36:50,/agile/arent-it-recruitment-agents-the-dumbest-fcks/
19/Aug/2016:22:24:44,/agile/bloody-server-installed/

16/Aug/2016:18:03:00,/agile/the-agile-fad/
16/Aug/2016:13:03:41,/agile/our-online-stalker/
16/Aug/2016:13:03:27,/agile/
16/Aug/2016:13:02:52,/webmaster-boomstick/
16/Aug/2016:12:57:45,/sunday-bloody-sunday/
16/Aug/2016:12:57:35,/

12/Aug/2016:19:21:54,/agile/a-one-tweet-affair/
12/Aug/2016:19:21:43,/agile/

His Office (Truncated)

05/Aug/2016:11:16:53,/agile/our-online-stalker/
05/Aug/2016:11:16:51,/agile/
05/Aug/2016:11:03:02,/agile/the-rep-question/
05/Aug/2016:11:02:53,/agile/

27/Jul/2016:14:54:17,/

06/Jun/2016:17:17:08,/agile/the-microsoft-guy/
06/Jun/2016:17:17:01,/agile/category/roles/spl/page/2/
06/Jun/2016:17:16:46,/agile/category/roles/spl/
06/Jun/2016:17:16:33,/agile/

01/Jun/2016:14:57:35,/agile/the-field-safety-notice/
01/Jun/2016:14:57:28,/agile/

31/May/2016:10:10:24,/agile/agile-in-action/
31/May/2016:10:10:17,/agile/
31/May/2016:10:10:07,/agile/ubuntu_bladecenter/
31/May/2016:10:10:01,/agile/

27/May/2016:14:22:45,/agile/ubuntu_bladecenter/
27/May/2016:14:22:40,/agile/

17/May/2016:19:21:04,/agile/
17/May/2016:12:20:23,/agile/blades/
17/May/2016:12:20:20,/agile/blooming-wisteria/
17/May/2016:12:20:09,/agile/

11/May/2016:12:25:44,/agile/blooming-wisteria/
11/May/2016:12:25:43,/agile/bloody-server-installed/
11/May/2016:12:25:37,/agile/

03/May/2016:12:45:39,/an-idiots-guide-to-ukraine/
03/May/2016:12:45:30,/

27/Apr/2016:10:07:52,/agile/the-projects-that-failed/
27/Apr/2016:09:52:43,/agile/the-field-safety-notice/
27/Apr/2016:09:52:37,/agile/
27/Apr/2016:09:52:32,/

26/Apr/2016:16:36:16,/agile/category/roles/spl/
26/Apr/2016:16:35:56,/agile/
26/Apr/2016:16:34:16,/agile/the-computer-says-youre-dead/
26/Apr/2016:15:49:34,/agile/the-field-safety-notice/
26/Apr/2016:15:41:24,/agile/the-field-safety-notice/
26/Apr/2016:15:41:23,/agile/the-computer-says-youre-dead/
26/Apr/2016:15:41:15,/agile/

Our Message To You, Rude Boy

We’re glad you enjoy our site and thanks for helping us test it. Don’t forget to click on the links and buy some BitCoin while you’re here. You’d be doing us a favour and thanking us for the pleasure our articles obviously bring you.

Or send bitcoin to: 15XmhHshBvj3ANvLKEEnBxdj3gA8Dz35uN

Meanwhile, here’s the music.

Enquiries

Serious enquiries regarding our real-time and historical web analytics, discreet forensic summaries of your own logfiles, or testimony from a highly-qualified and persuasive expert witness, can be tweeted or DM’ed to: @skankworksAgile. We also offer similar discreet consultancy to those who do not wish to be tracked, fully compliant with Swiss Law.

Credits

Banner image capped from the video by The Special AKA (The Specials), featuring Lynval Golding and Neville Staple. The first band we ever saw play live on their tour for their first album ‘The Specials‘.