Worst Job-Ad Ever

The link to this job-ad, while it is live, is below. We’re keeping a screenshot here for posterity. The link is to demonstrate that this is a real job advertisment put out by a professional IT recruitment company in the UK, recruiting Chinese, in Switzerland.

Our view is that it is a joke, in whichever sense of the word you wish to infer.


The name and contact details of the recruitment agent that posted this have been removed from our screenshot deliberately. We remind readers that the person who posted this is quite possibly simply doing a job they have been told to do and are themselves being taken for a ride by their employers.

Which would put them in just about the same position as your average recruitment agency’s clients and contractors.

It is also possible that it is simply the sign of a company that has a sense of humour, if a little dated.

We leave the company name in since it is an integral part of the ad, and it is their responsibility to put some quality in their marketing materials. Particularly if they want to attract the best staff.

The end client that the ad is placed for – poor sods – shall remain nameless.

Here’s the ad:

chinese speaking statistic specialist


We’ve applied for the job. With a Benny Hill-style CV sent as part of our application (with due apologies to any Chinese who may feel unfairly stereotyped – we assure you that such stereotypes as depicted below exist only in the minds of the lower rungs of Western society, such as those who become recruitment agents, for example).


                        Cullicurum Vital

Name: Wel-Hung Dong
DoB – 01.07.1982

Nationarity: Chinese
Ranguages, Manderin, Cantonese, Ingrish.

Clertifircrate. Chief.

Ph.D. in Ingrish Riterature from University of Camblidge.

Oval View:

I am velly good Ingrish speak statistic pecialist, chief, with focus on implement satisfaction customer based care support management f’tang f’tang ole biscuit barrel. chief.

Chief Skirls Matlix

• Based business pranning, goal achievement. Chief
• Network seculity knowredge & plocess pubricity chief
• Lesponsibre for imprementation. quality; chief
• Managing the imprementation. satisfaction, chief
• Meetings, team building, tea, opelations; chief
• Ingrish speak.cheif.

Plior Expleriensh

2010-2015 Five years, waiter. Tossing the sarad in velly good restaurant “Wan King Duck”,  Switcherrand. chief. Make startistlic for customer satisflaction with tasty meal. Lesponsible for numbers on menu. chief.

2003-2010 Served seven years in Gangbang Prison, Huwan Plovince for embezzerment, flaud, and colluption.

2002-2001 Vice-Plesident of People’s Repubric of China, Beijing.

1998-2002 Statistic pecialist for rocal blanch of communist party of China in Dung Pong Province, Preoples Repubric of China. chief

1994-1998 Chief statistician, chief, military morgue, chief.

1990-1994 Officer in glorius army of Pleople’s Repubric of China. Lesponsible for raiding parties, and read member of filing squad. chief.


Recruiting Yourself

At the skankworks.net we have argued for years that the worst possible thing a firm can do is to outsource recruitment. Your people are the most important part of the enterprise. That is why it was called a “company”. It behooves hiring managers and HR to find or grow staff yourselves. To assist, we endeavour to drive recruitment agents out of the business. Chief.

The Ad, Live Online

Feel free to apply for the job. That’s what the ad is there for.