Julian Assange Escape Bid Foiled

A DUBKAFile Exclusive

Fugitive abuser and suspected hacker Julian Assange remains safely under lock and key in London today after a daring escape bid was foiled by his Ecuadorian jailors. Assange is wanted in the USA on suspicion of aiding terrorists, and is also the subject of an international kill-or-capture order for his widespread abuse of women.

He has been incarcerated by Ecuador for attempting to enter the country illegally and is serving his sentence in the tiny South American republic’s London embassy. As part of the deal worked out with the UK government Assange will remain in Ecuador’s custody on British soil. When he has served his sentence he will be handed over to the Metropolitan Police to face questioning on a range of serious offenses for which thus far Assange has failed to prove his innocence.

A spokeswoman for the embassy speaking on conditions of anonymity said, “there isn’t really much I can say. We may or may not have discovered a tunnel leading from Assange’s cell but we can neither confirm nor deny the existence of such a tunnel.”

According to schematics handed out by the official the tunnel was 20 meters deep and ran for over 150 meters in a direct line towards the basement of the nearby Russian consulate. DUBKAFile has learned that the Russian Ambassador has been summonsed to the foreign office to answer questions about Russia’s involvement in the escape plan.

Assange, a former coal miner with Australia’s Rio Tinto mining corporation, is believed to have installed electric lights in the tunnel which is allegedly wide enough for three corpulent men to walk abreast. Assange had also installed computer servers and hacked into some of London’s most sensitive Internet lines – serving twitter and facebook websites, along with credit card information – through cables that ran close to his tunnel.

Metropolitan Police spokesman, Jack Sweeney of the Fraud Squad, told reporters that a special Assange crime unit was being formed consisting of over 200 experienced officers who would investigate further crimes allegedly planned by Britain’s most notorious prisoner.

The Prime Minister issued a statement urging the public to “remain calm”, stressing that there was never any danger of Assange gaining freedom and that British women, “may continue to walk British streets without fear”. He went on to tell reporters that security officials have a long-standing containment plan and that in the event of Julian Assange getting loose “no options were off the table”.

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