NATO Party Ruined by Ceasefire

Gourmet NATO elites are fuming down in Welsh Wales after a cease-fire in Novorossia spoiled the War Party’s luncheon on Friday. Coming into effect during dessert delegates were left with nothing to say other than to blame Putin and wonder what would be served for dinner.

It has been suggested by some that Putin’s insistance on talks and bringing the warring parties together in Minsk is the cause of the ceasefire. “It’s not the first time he’s done it”, said one NATO elite speaking on the condition of anonymity, “only last month he did exactly the same thing in long-forgotten Nagorno-Karabakh and prevented another war there”.

After fuming, delegates returned to their chairs to settle-in for dinner. The main course was Chicken Kiev, but as Poroshenko is a vegetarian he was served Cravate a la Compote de Pommes Polonaise and his favourite Old Crimea wine ‘Bastardo’.

Old Crimea Wine Bastardo

Obama has announced that the ceasefire is “unacceptable”. He told a gathering of agog MSM reporters that Putin is only calling for peace now because his side has “won the war on the ground”. New sanctions will be applied on Russia, the President said, in order to buy time for Obama and the Pentagon to consult with Kiev Junta, try to get their captured soldiers back, and see if there’s anything they can still do with what’s left of their credibility after such a catastrophic defeat on the battlefield.

Meanwhile, further north in the final days of the UK before Scotland leaves, patriotic English football hooligans are holding their own pro-UK “UrineMaidan” colloquially known as Camp Andy.

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