News in Brief

War
Canadian Capital served just desserts after parliament attacked with guns, soldiers shot. After decades of wantonly bombing defenceless countries, residents of NATO member Canada are now asking “why us”, American-style. Fears of encountering an enemy willing and able to fight back abound. Commiserations were given on the news that Prime Minister Harper escaped, like a rat from a sinking ship, unharmed. Didn’t even get winged. Not to be outdone, a home-grown New York City jihadi jumps on the burgeoning bandwagon and attempts to hack cops with a hatchet. None of these Islamist jihadi attacks in Western cities count as terrorism though. They are all lone gunmen (or axeman as the case may be) and the principle of leaderless resistance is not exactly common knowledge amongst the mindless TV-viewing public around whom these ‘inexplicable’ events swirl, seemingly without any cause or reason.

Explosions
Obama strategy in tatters as Syrian Air Force scores more anti-terror hits than Pentagon’s Top Gun finest. In-theatre operations have taken a turn that only emptied-headed news anchors seem capable of understanding as the US bombs IS to stop them attacking Kurds, while NATO partner Turkey chips in by bombing the Kurds, gulf petrol-pump allies air-drop armaments to IS, and the legitimate Syrian government – who else – is left to clear up the mess they are all making.

Arts
Fourth-wall brutally torn down as racist Parisian Opera performers decide what paying customers can and cannot wear. The once respected Paris arts scene has been further humiliated by the erection of a 20-metre butt-plug in a city square, paid for by the city who have evidently been trolled by an anarchist street-artist into thinking it’s a christmas tree. Well-intentioned hooligans briefly tore it down, but their efforts were thwarted by the deep pockets of city budgeteers who seem to have unlimited funds for sex toys, but bugger all – if you’ll pardon the pun – when it comes to the sick and needy. Although, if that’s the message you are intending to send, a 20m day-glo butt-plug in a city square says it loud.

Employment
The trend to blame the lowest-level employee on the scene for any and all corporate accidents continues. This time in Moscow, when a snow-plough driver was publicly identified as the cause of the oh-so-sad loss of an oil tycoon (a feat once considered in Moscow as worthy of the Order of the Red Star). Other than the accusation that the plough-driver is to blame, facts are hard to come by, as always. This matches well with the oil-train blowing up a Canadian town being immediately blamed on the driver, who appears to have been following his cost-cutting public-saftey-be-damned employer’s instructions to the letter. The HST driver in Spain who was similarly blamed in the immediate aftermath of a fatal accident with claims that “he was on the phone at the time”, when in fact the train had two drivers and it was the co-driver on the phone – the hotline to HQ telling them “we can’t stop the train”. The coach driver in Switzerland, automatically the subject of pointed MSM fingers complete with unfounded claims that he was “watching DVDs” at the wheel. None of these media claims ever turn out to be anywhere near the truth, so why should the latest one? A CEO copped-it in his corporate jet. Aw, shame. Let’s all take two weeks paid leave in mourning. He would have liked that.

Espionage
Sweden’s elite military “Team Assange” claim the fugitive is trying to escape custody in a Russian stealth-ship, James Bond-style. Backed-up by minions in the MSM who, their heads still filled with glorious images of Russian tank formations burning-up on the steppes of Ukraine, are eager to convince their gullible viewers that absence of evidence is, when it comes to Russian stealth ships, proof positive that they exist. What Russia now has to do to prove – in the eyes of the MSM and it’s clueless viewers – that it doesn’t have any submarines trying to spring Assange is to produce one. The underlying logic adding weight to claims that Sweden’s policies are decided by the same Bollinger-quaffing billionaire boneheads that run Obama’s.

UK
Professsional Upper-Class Twit and amateur Prime Minister David Cameron has been caught in a ‘pants down’ lie over the alleged economic success of his policies. The EU sends him a final demand for an unpaid €2bn bill. The bill, based on falisified ‘feel-good’ economic numbers published by the British Government on Cameron’s orders, has a note written between the lines to the effect that, “EU states may lie to thier own people as much as they like, but there’s a price-tag attached”. The expected outcome will be a loud outburst of xenophobic “we’re not paying the wogs” rhetoric from the usual quarters, while the bill is quietly paid. Paid most likely out of the meagre funds previously and reluctantly allocated to those who actually need them – i.e. the long-suffering poor and needy. At least in the UK they won’t have to suffer a giant Christmas butt-plug outside of their homes rubbing it in. Maybe London will ask the Scots to pay the bill. After all, they want to be a part of this.

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