Oh what a circus….

Trolling conspirarcy groups on Usenet, back in the days…

Newsgroups: alt.conspiracy.princess-diana
Subject: Oh what a circus….
Date: Tue, 02 Sep 97 13:18:39 GMT
Organization: ALT-F4

Diana is the Mother of Christ. She is the Holy Ghost and cannot die. She is always incarnate to guide and love us, her wee waifs who must by necessity spend some months in each generation separated from her dietific presence. But she’s safe now. We’ve hidden the address of her seven thousand eight hundred and ninety sixth coming far, far away in the boonies of the ninth dimension.

Damn! I’ve just recieved beta priority data via the Kowloon relay. I am being stalked by FIBS. Veterans of this newsgroup will know that I have been working ceaselessly to unearth the truth of this latest mind-manipulation. It now seems that Diana was, as suspected, the reincarnation of Evita Peron. There are many, many remarkable similarities between these “two” women which I will detail below before making some remarks on the possible meaning of this and the severe danger I may be in for having discovered this and actively assisted in the protection of Lady Di’s eternal soul.

Diana was conceived exactly 2,700 days after Evita died. The figure of 2,700 is well known to astrologers as the minimum time in which a particular zodiac can repeat. All eternal souls, including our souls, can only incarnate at the zodiacal time of their own pattern. Normal beings have a turnaround time of around 30,000 days. A mere 2,700 days is a massively high energy pattern indicating that she/they is/are highly advanced state(s) of conciousness and able to channel energy fields that would fry normal people to a smoking crisp in seconds. In fact Diana was quite capable of firing a charged particle beam that would level most of northern France with just one twitch of her ears. She could have easily reduced that pack of Hell’s Angels to sub-atomic particles if she had chosen to. Evita Peron often zapped her political opponents with intense blasts of microwave radiation emitted from a region around her eyes, causing severe internal bleeding in her victims which would usually be put down to eating too many shellfish and/or ulcers caused by worrying about the Malvinas.

They were both born illegitimately into a peasant family and lived the first third of their short lives in abject poverty.

If you concatenate the names they were best known by in reverse chronological order you get “Dieva” or “Diva” to give the correct spelling of her/their spirit name. Diva means “a great woman, a prima donna”. Thus even their very names, when combined, mean “The Great First Lady”. Further, amongst Shamen and New Age Drifters the term “Diva” is used to describe a “mythical” female form of great beauty and power that forever protects Gaia. In short, she is Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception and always has been

They both once reported seeing a UFO and then later retracted the report, both dismissing it as “the usual female histrionics of Red Week. Forget about it.”

Uri Gellar has refused to shake hands with them.

They were both admired by the same poor people that others accused them of parasitically feeding off.

Taking into account Eva Duarte’s unusally long four year gestation, both women died at the age of 36 which is 6*6*6 TWICE!!!!!

Both of them wrote short stories in their youth about the lost civilization of Atlantis. Sadly Diana’s manuscripts were all destroyed in the great FyRE of Windsor.

They both died shortly before being officially inaugurated as First Lady in their chosen countries of birth (The titles were to have been Vice-President and Queen respectively). However, and this is the give away, BOTH OF THEM TURNED DOWN THE TITLE OF FIRST LADY. Obviously, the one true 1st lady needs no other titles.

Both women have been portrayed on screen by Madonna (who’s name derives from “Prima Donna” which as we have seen is both Diana’s and Eva’s real name).

They were both lying in a lover’s arms on a foriegn sun kissed beach when their fathers died and never forgave themselves.

Both women turned out to be incredibly, even mystically, photogenic. Lord Snowdon, who has photographed both of them, once said that; “These women are incredible. The power in them almost makes the room shake. The first time I met Eva she seemed to just appear there in the room and she was so radiant. I didn’t even have to use the flash! All of my worries and fears just flowed out of me and I was filled with a wonderful elation. I knew then that I would never need to take drugs again. I was cured. It was ace! It was just the same when I met Di. Deja vu. WoW! The pictures were pretty far out too, I made a cool million. Handsome.”

They both slept with Andrew Lloyd Webber.

They both suffered eating disorders. Diana’s Buloemea was well known but what is little known is the at age of 17 the ingenue Eva Duarte went on a Pie & Mash binge in downtown Buenos Aries which hospitalised her for six months.

Both women had screen careers that smashed all previous box office records. Only yesterday a single picture of Diana’s tattered and bloody corpse was sold to Der Volkische Beobachter for 150,000,000 FF smashing the European Atrocity Photo Record previously held by Hienrich H. Himmler for his “Reflections on Genocide” collection which he sold to Steven Spielberg in 1991 for a cool $17,000,000. Norris McWhirter, editor of the Guiness Book of Records and former twin, was said to be “suprised” at his home in County Down this morning and Herr Himmler is reported to be contemplating his future(s) at home in his mansion in the Congo. Christies, who sold the photograph in a marathon auction, released a statement that read in part; “Well so what? Malcolm X at Gorky is worth ten times as much as that and one of the brothers says that the word is out on the streets that there’s a polaroid of Indira Gandhi posing with Benazir Bhutto on a nude beach on the Greek Island of Lesbos gone up for sale. My main man is hunting down a neg of a young Mother Teresa when she was on the game in Bangkok. What’s one jiveass stiff compared to that little goldmine? Just another piece of dime-a-dozen dead white trash. BFD.”

Both women married a high ranking military officer who was destined to become Head of State and hence they acquired fabulous wealth overnight. They both then begun to dabble in politics.

Both women met the Pope. Eva, who was the more open of the two when it came to discussing fascist connections, was only handed a rosary by a surly and aggressive pontiff who refused to even acknowledge the meeting let alone discuss it with anyone. Diana (in contrast) was, when she paid a state visit to the Vatican, welcomed with open arms by John Paul II who gave her such a hug that she was seen to levitate whilst in his arms and he kissed both her cheeks before falling at her feet praying aloud for her blessing. Diana stayed on in John Paul’s quarters for over 18 days in what was scheduled to be a 14 minute coffee morning. After she left, the Pope was heard sighing heavily around the Vatican and when he finally emerged from the catacombs he declared that Diana was; “Marvellous. Absolutely bloody marvellous! If I wasn’t the Pope…..”

They were both associate members of the Bilderburgers.

Both women performed many miracles for the fashion industry, single handedly lifting it off it’s knees and turning it into a succesful multi-million dollar a day business once again.

The first signs of Eva Peron’s ovarian cancer manifested themselves in the Elysee Palace in Paris, no more than 150 metres (0.1 seconds drive) from the spot where Diana chose to leave this incarnation.

They had the same figure – exactly. Christian Dior and her stepson Jean Emanuel explained that; “Yeah we kitted ’em both out. It was actually really good for us because they had the same measurements. When Di came along all we had to do was use the old Evita patterns which Lloyd-Webber commissioned back in the 40’s. We still charged her full price though but it did mean that Jean didn’t get to feel up her breasts so he was quite upset about that.”

Both women were declared as “Saints” by people all over the world and, whenever they met her, they both received the infamous and chilling “Dirty Look” that Mother Teresa reserves only for; people she is bitterly jealous of, children, poor people, the sick, the needy, ticket collectors, wannabe Johns with a rubber a score and a shitload of desperation, hangers on, Arabs and anybody else who isn’t waving a camera, a press pass and/or a cook chill instant miracle kit under her conniving, wrinkled and comtemptuous nose.

Both women are belived to have had hundreds of people killed to further their political careers. Evita disposed of Juan Peron’s opponents which effectively included anyone who asked to vote in Argentinean ballots. Diana has for a long time been linked with the arms trade and has recently been criticised by some African nations who have accused her press agents of cynically throwing bags of sweets, Tagamichis and Michael Jackson CDs into known minefields around African schools set up under Lady Di’s Teach the World programme in a bid to generate “unwanted and intrusive” photo-opportunities for Di.

Eva and Di have each been said to have healing powers second only to those of the Nazarine.

Eva Peron’s last words were “Eva se va” (Eva is going) and Di’s last words were “Di dies”. The phonetic and semantic similarities are striking, almost exact translations but Di had symbolically transposed the rogue ‘s’. The letter ‘s’ is one of the oldest letters of the Roman alphabet and is thought by scholars to have been commisioned as a birthday present for Pope Pentius Insectus in the 7th century BC and represents the river of life. Transposition of this letter is thought to signify “life goes on in another place”. Could this be Diana’s way of telling us that she is still with us?

Both women thrived on publicity and actively sought it out wherever they went in the world.

Both women were taken to burial on a gun carriage, the traditional phallus of *male* fertility. Evita’s body, like Elvis’, disappeared. Will Diana’s?

An astonishing series of “coincidencies”. I don’t care how crazy you are because this just CANNOT BE IGNORED. My contact however, reliably informs me that the illuminati will never allow this information to propogate. If your server fails to get this message it is because the powers that be are covering it up. If this happens send immediate e-mail to newsroom@cnn.com where they have a team of experts ready and waiting to take your call. Include the words “Universal netweb” in the subject line. I can reveal that I have been offered sanctuary by the Ivy League and British Academia, both of whom have noticed my superior researches over the lesser, baby-eating theories that abound. I can say with a fair degree of certainty that neither Evita Peron or Lady Di ever knowingly ate any infantile human flesh. They were vegetarians who adored animals – especially their fur.

It is clear to me. She comitted suicide. The only conspiracy here is the same one that’s everywhere. The illuminati plot to keep from us who we really are and distract our minds with useless trivia and a constant barrage of moral affrontations in the media by way of non- stop sex, scandal, sleaze and violence.

Her bodyguard has chosen to remain incarnate to guide humanity’s reawkening which is scheduled to begin in 2012. His first task now will be to tell the authorities exactly what they want him to tell them – luckily all Atlanteans were made *permanantly* psychic by the force of the stupendous nuclear blast that destroyed their continent so he should have no problem keeping MI6 happy when they set about him with the rubber hose tomorrow. Incidentally the Nepalese mystic Sri Bandwanana Sri Sri Gadustra has told the Indian news agency Delhiweb that he has been in communication with the comatose bodyguard over on the Astral plane where he has confirmed that he is the second reincarnation of James Dean so he is, quote, “well used to this sort of thing by now”.

By my calculations Dieva will be reborn in early 2005 and is scheduled to be next concieved at 10:37pm on 18th May 2004 somewhere between Moscow, Bratislava and Jerusalem. Unfortunately Hiesenberg’s Uncertainy Principle only allows either the time or the place to be accurately calculated but not both. It was thought better that the time be calculated so as to permanantly remove the possibly of someone finding out the place in advance and setting up a stake out. That cannot now be done. She is protected and will soon return to again spread her Holy message of love and peace for all mankind apart from those found in possession of optical recording devices.

Who knows, one of us could end up as her mother or father in a few year’s time. Small world.

Footnote
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Diana’s bodyguard is suspected of being an Atlantean Guide who has remained on Earth to do what he’s best at: looking after our souls.

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