According to erased Internet reports, President Vladimir Putin (left) has been brutally hacked to death outside of the Kremlin by an angry mob of Russian consumers for his involvement in the shoot down of MH17.
The activists are then said to have pelted troops deployed to Red Square with the former President’s body parts. Putin’s lower abdomen and genitals were initially reported to be missing before being discovered nailed to the doors of the Lubyanka. The uprising came after NATO officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told Western reporters that they have proof that Russia shot down Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 but they can’t tell anyone what the proof is because it’s a secret.
Thus far Russian media have not mentioned the incident and are instead showing archive footage of tractor production in Chelyabinsk. All internet links referring to the uprising, including graphic high-definition video recordings, are being deleted by KGB agents within minutes of going online.
Sharp-eyed critically-thinking tweeters have also noticed that Putin’s wikipedia entry appears to have been updated – possibly by somebody in Russia working for the government. The White House has issued several statements that satellite intelligence confirms the presence of Russian military units within Russia’s borders.
Follow #PutinKilled for the latest updates.
Official Conspiracy Theories
The ‘official line’ put on by Western politicians and their fawning media lackies generally has even less basis in truth, and is generally even more bloodthirsty in its imagary, than the above. We see this with every event that propagandists can latch onto. Thus follows the received wisdom that “separatists”, pro-Russia of course, are stealing not just from the bodies of the flight MH17 victims, but if propaganda is to be believed, stealing the bodies as well.
An armed guard at the site (right), clearly identifying himself to reporters, holds up a child’s toy underscoring the tradegy only to be torn down as a drunk, thief and murderer by uncomprehending twitterscum. Having been informed that it is permitted to hate Russia, off they go. Transferring the image into their own frame of reference it becomes a selfie.
He is stealing that toy, they screech. If he isn’t looting it for his own children, then he intends to trade it for vodka and naturally he will shoot anybody who tries to stop him. He’s Russian, that’s what they are like over there. Dare the reader disagree, or make the point that the man’s motiviations might be something other than evil, then they become the one to be shouted down, verbally abused, and threatened with the alleged horror of account-suspension for being ‘uncivil’ or lacking ‘respect for the dead’.
On social media, suggesting that people check the facts before drawing conclusions is regarded as uncivil and lacking in respect. Where do they get these notions from? Well that’s what their precious wide-screen televisions, smart-watches, and wall-to-wall ‘news’ broadcasts are for. For example, on the left we see a pro-Russian seperatist and former aide to President Putin standing at the crash site in Ukraine drunk on vodka and eating the remains of a victim of flight MH17 whose credit card he has just stolen.
The Official Line
The ‘official line’ will never be called conspiracy theory. Technically, when the state and its organs disseminate false information for political gain it is called propaganda. When various strands of propaganda intertwine across different events it becomes ‘the narrative’. We shall examine the West’s narrative viz-a-viz the civil war in Ukraine in a moment, after first setting the context.
The 911 “Truthers” come up with their own obviously false narratives about government involvement in the September 11th Terrorist attacks. Truther explanations for the events in New York and Washington have involved space lasers, indestructible paint-on bombs, holographic motion-pictures projected into the sky, buildings that turn to dust, and thermonuclear weapons being installed beneath skyscrapers as required by standard building regulations in existance ever since the 1960s. Which, in purely intellectual terms, compares favourably with the ravings of government and media narratives wherein Gadaffi hands out Viagra by the caseload, Iran has atom bombs, Saddam can obliterate America in 15 minutes, Milosevic hides the bodies in lakes, Assad drops bombs in the shape of barrels (far worse than bomb-shaped bombs), and even the success story of Al Sisi’s statesmanlike introduction of democracy to Egypt.
So it isn’t just paranoid conspiracy theorists that talk out of their arses. Western politicians and Western media do it all the time, as a profession.
Thus the ‘narrative’ on Novorossiya. To understand what people are tweeting about in their disjoint ill-informed two-sentence pronouncments, one has to be cognizant of the narrative that guides them. We shall thus try to summarize the Western narrative in bullet-point form below, in order to provide background to the media-led bullshit pouring out on (anti-)social networks.
- The crisis was caused by Russia secretly invading Ukraine after Ukrainians over-whelmingly voted to join the EU
- Vladimir Putin is like Hitler and wants to restore Communism to the Soviet Union
- Russians are evil people who get drunk and like to torture people for amusement
- Russia finances terrorism world-wide and are solely responsible for the conflicts in the Middle East and everywhere
- Russia fought against the Western Allies in World War Two, taking sides with Hitler
- All Western politicians and journalists are only interested in establishing the truth, protecting civilians, and ensuring that everybody has a job and lots of money to spend.
- Russia can only be stopped by NATO
Once you understand the narrative, and that Western propaganda is always based on racial stereotypes targetted at stoking base hatreds of the other, then you can go read hashtags like #MH17 with some idea of where these loons are coming from and what motivates them.
Facts are inconvenient indeed. Let’s not spoil the party by introducing any. You’ll only get your account banned for that anyway.
Update Aug 17th
The accusations of ‘pro-Russian rebels’ stealing the property of victims that were trumpeted by the West’s media have fallen silent. If there had been an evidence, such as tranasctions made on the allegedly stolen credit cards, it would be all over the front pages, arrest warrants issued. As, for example, is the case with the HSBC bankers arrested for stealing from the accounts of victims of MH370:
— skankworks (@TheSkankworks) August 17, 2014
So who was doing the stealing? People fighting to protect their community from violent fascism, or bankers? We hear only accusations against ‘Russia’, but we only hear about bankers’ misdeeds on those rare occassions that any of them get busted – and shortly thereafter to be dismissd as statistically unimportant by the application of the inevitable ‘bad apple’ status.
The deathly silence surrounding the contents of MH17’s black boxes and Kiev’s air-traffic control recordings should also be put into the same context. Against ‘the other’, mere allegations are enough to make front-page news, summit discussions, ambassadorial summonses, and sanctions.
What then, does this silence over MH17’s hard evidence portend?