Website Review: سوريا تيوب

If this were TV, this website you are about to see is what would be called, “the other side“. There isn’t really much to review about it. It’s war footage. Most employers would regard this as “NSFW”, although a strong case can be made that those who support war should be required to watch the videos on the site. Just so they know what they are talking about.

The text is mostly in Arabic, but there is some English, particularly where the site’s editors feel that attention needs to be drawn to certain combatants speaking English as a first language. There are a lot of still images linking to facebook, but as we at the skankworks.net have banned facebook.com and fire-walled it out we can’t say what they are about. They appear to be links to the fb pages of former members of the jihad, now deceased. Presumably the pages won’t be updated anymore, but that cock Zuckerberg will still go on referring to them as “active members” nevertheless. Fortunately Syrians no longer have to consider them active, let alone “activists” as the western media and their puppet politicians like to call them.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The site features many videos taken directly from the mobile phones of such “activists” who were killed or captured, frequently while videoing the event. There are many uploads of the jihadis’ own home-movies that they had kept on their phones, depicting them cutting the heads off helpless captives, shooting tied-up teenagers, and such like. They likely kept the clips planning to show them as bedtime-stories to their own children when daddy gets home from the war, Barry Lyndon style. “And you should have seen the look on the infidel’s faces when twenty-three rampaging mujahid, sword and pistol, cut-and-thrust, pell-mell, came tumbling in“.

Were you allowed to keep the heads, Daddy?

But you probably don’t want to know about those. You should know that some of these guys are taking their own children (boys only of course) into battle with them, which means they could have shared many a bedtime war story had not the local army put a tank shell through cut-throat pop’s black-hearted chest. And that your children will probably be fighting their children when the time comes. Think about that next time you’re filling the tank on your way to work.

But it’s not all death and violence. Sometimes, even the guy the West tells us should be Syria’s next president, has got to jack-off to Internet pron.

FSA leader jerking off

We’re pretty confident it wasn’t the NSA that did that screen-cap. Interesting musical score they’ve added, though. More on that below.

For a Few Dollars More

Another clips you would enjoy is the one showing an enormous sack of paper money the size of a small car, with a parachute still attached to the sack. Who dropped it? Then again you’ll probably not want to see the kind of people it had been dropped on and doled out to. We are not talking about the poor and needy here. Think men with beards, guns, and death-porn on their phones in which they personally participate. How much of that money came out of your tax payments? That’s something for you to think about while you’re swiping your credit card to pay the inflated price of the gas you put in the tank.

A bizarre twist, however, amongst all the violence and intrigue, is in the musical score each conflicting party chooses for their video records, and here at the skankworks.net we’re always more interested in music than the day-to-day goings-on of routine warfare. The jihadis are by now predictable with their well-worn Quranic verses for to sing-along to, but the Syrian Army videos have the oddest choice of background music. Each time they find a video clip showing a jihadi getting himself killed, either by failing to take cover from an inevitable counter-strike, or by blowing himself up through not knowing how to operate those big shiny weapons the Saudi-Americans have given him, they’ve dubbed on music from Spaghetti Westerns.

One of their favorites is “For a Few Dollars More“. Rather apt, really. We can relate to that. The Syrians aren’t just killing jihadis, they are sending them up. Reminds one of the way Russia disposed of the charming Shamil Basayev, the butcher of Beslan, noting for posterity after they’d blown him up with his own bomb that 2km from the blast they’d found his, “lower abdomen with genitals attached“.

Meanwhile, if you can stomach them, here’s the videos:

SyriaTube — العمليات العسكرية للجيش السوري في القضاء على الإرهاب

And if you’ve got the stomach to watch those, you might even be able to stomach Mr Hopey Changey lying his ass off about it. But we can’t link to any videos of that, because nobody at the skankworks.net has ever heard Obama speak and we wish to keep it that way.

Syriantube Playlist

Videos open in a new tab
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly – Theme
For a Few Dollars More – Theme

Editor’s note: The skankworks.net takes the position that all sides should sit down and talk while they still can. Geneva is a nice place, and there’s plenty of Saudi-owned mansions on the lakeshore where certain parties to the conflict can be assured of a warm welcome.

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